To Everyone Who Thinks Fifty Shades Is All Sorts of Awesome: Please, Stop and Think

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15 Responses

  1. Bonnie BURT says:

    Thank you for saying what I felt after reading these books. Whatever happened to good literature.

  2. This is a further slide to Gomorrah. Satan is deceiving everyone, including Christians. Pornography is embedded in the brain and is addictive. Those who think this fantasy will take this into marriage and miss God’s plan for a pure Union. There will be so much to overcome.

  3. John says:

    It sounds to me like you have misunderstood porn and BDSM. If you don’t like these things why don’t you simply avoid them?

    • Kristyn Komarnicki says:

      Your comment suggests that porn and BDSM are avoidable, and nothing could be further from the truth. With the release of the Fifty Shades books and films, and with a culture that has completely capitulated to porn, we are marinating in the stuff, and everyone is affected. Sexual violence, objectification, the divorce of sexual acts from relationship–all these things have a powerful affect on our marriages, children, communities. In what way has the author of this article “misunderstood” porn/BDSM?

      • Robin Tierney says:

        Agreed. The problem is that, thanks to the power and reach social media for spread titillating matter, acts that are unkind, violent and grotesque get normalized. Presented as cool and trendy and “a way to spice up sex life,” demeaning and destructive (immediately and more so over time) actions gain acceptance (as we’re already seeing from the book). Preoccupation with these “shades” saps mental energy and time from constructive thinking and actions that would make the world a better place.

  4. katie says:

    This is rediculous. If you don’t like it don’t read it. Would you be happy if your daughter were dating Christian? What does it matter that is no different than asking if you would be happy if she was dating Batman both are fictional characters. I read the books and found them entertaining, but you won’t find me letting my husband tell me what to do or hitting my girl parts with a riding crop. I thought America was supposed to be the land of the free. You know freedom that allows you to choose what you like without it being filtered by the government or church. I don’t see why people can’t just stay away from it if they don’t like it. I don’t particularly like horror films or books, so I just don’t read them or watch them. I do not think that I am so important that because I don’t like them that they should no longer be made. People need to get off there high horse. You won’t like everything, but the fact that you don’t like it does not mean it should not exist.

    • Mary says:

      This is ridiculous. Just because the author doesn’t like something, they should not make their opinion known? You just said yourself, America is the land of the free. You also have a right to disagree, the author never said you couldn’t. They just gave their opinion…an opinion that happens to be founded in research.
      People in the South had slaves, and the North didn’t like it. Should the North not have said anything because the South disagreed? If the North didn’t like it, they could’ve just avoided it and not have slaves. No, they spoke up because they knew it was wrong. The author here is speaking against porn, because they believe it is wrong.
      Congratulations, you can read porn without it affecting you. Many others are not so lucky. Many do not have the choice to not “let their husband tell them what do to,” or even have a husband that would respect them enough to have a voice at all. Many boys (and girls) are exposed to porn (and now mainstream books and movies that are essentially porn) from such a young age that they cannot separate sex from abuse or power from love. They are not given the choice to “avoid it if they don’t like it.” It is shoved in their face, then they become addicted to false images of sex/love.
      Christian Is a fictional character yes, but you are making a ridiculous comparison to Batman. Get it together, and try and understand the POINT. The point is that you would not want your daughter to be stalked, controlled, and sexually abused by anyone, yet alone someone who claims to love them.
      And again, is this article a petition to have the government ban the book? No. The author is trying to give you a perspective that you might’ve missed. Not everyone is like you. Not everyone sees value in porn and what porn is doing to teenagers, or to people of any age. There is nothing here that says ban the book or movie. Some people, however, are not capable of seeing outside of themselves to notice a problem that does not affect them until someone else points it out, hence the article.

  5. Charley Blom says:

    Thanks Jonathon for a great article. very insightful. On one side we as a culture, buy the book, see the movie and glory in the depravity. then we scream bloody murder when a young woman is found sexually abuse and killed by the same sort of activities as are in the book. Or we are upset and seek to punish to the full extent of the law when someone sexually abuses children, but we don’t see the connection. As a society we are blind to what we are doing and are afraid to make strong moral choices.
    This book and movie are not the cause of the morass we are in currently just the sign post of where we have been and where we are going.
    thanks again

  6. Reggie says:

    More mansplaining (yes, despite the deceptive byline given to a woman for reposting this article, it was written by a man) about how women should conduct themselves and how they should express their sexuality.

  7. natasha says:

    This is a stupid article.
    1- congratulations. You got the theme of the story. Its an ABUSIVE relationship. Sure it’s hot m steamy and mysterious at first but at the end of THE LAST BOOK they’re relationship ends in shambles. Anyone who cares to reenact the overbearing abusive characteristics as Mr grey Is on account of their own ignorance. And will most likely also result in unfavorable circumstances.
    2- you (or no one in fact) can say what is right or wrong in the bedroom. Yes there are safe words and what not. but the ultimate distindistinction between abuse is both parties WANT what they are getting. And don’t say BDSM devalues women. Women can also be the dominating party in these relationships . I don’t personally enjoy these kinks but I still don’t agree with you wasting your time caring and putting down someone else’s work of art. Art is subjective and if you don’t like it move on to the next piece.

  8. Danielle says:

    Thank you so much for this article as a victim of both domestic violence and sexual violence I too felt the book and now movie are very degrading and not at all what a “sexual fantasy” should be. I really appreciate what you said about consent I stayed silent in an abusive relationship for years, but that doesn’t mean that anything I was enduring was right or that I wanted it to happen. I for one would not want my son to be a Christian Grey and I wouldn’t want any women I know to be with a Christian Grey. Thanks again.

  9. Lynda Bowyer says:

    So, tonight in London it’s the premiere of “50 Shades of Grey”. Yes, THAT film based on THOSE books – and it’s caused a calamity, not lease in evangelical quarters. The article (link provided) claims that the film will escalate domestic violence and that it promotes an assault on human dignity.

    I beg to differ…

    Why? Because as a survivor of domestic violence many years ago, I am under no illusion that what I suffered was because my then partner was a warped, violent and psychopathic individual driven by his own desire to dominate, control and change me from being the bright bubbly woman I once was to the snivelling wreck of a submissive female I eventually became over a number of years at the hands of his treatment. His violence didn’t come from a book or film. It came from a deep anger of having witnessed as a child his own mother treat his father in such a horrid way that it fuelled his own sociopathic tendencies to warrant revenge on the female gender. Great counselling and a whole heap of clinical insight has helped me unravel that paradox of his demeanour.

    So why the kerfuffle about the film? Because it’s based on a trilogy of fictional books about two fictional characters, but some churchy people have somehow managed to intertwine fiction with reality. The fictional story is about a complex relationship which develops between two consenting adults (albeit somewhat saucy in places). That’s the key here. Consent. The last time I experienced domestic violence it wasn’t at all like the encounters in the book and it certainly wasn’t consensual. Not on my part anyway. So yes, I’ve read the books. It was a few years ago when they were published. Yes, I enjoyed them, too. Not for the alleged salacious nature but for the angst between the two key characters in the series. Are they porn? Not in my definition. Are those books edifying domestic violence? Not in my opinion. Will this film turn men into perpetrators of domestic violence? Absolutely not.

    Still, as with everything, it’s subjective. What’s meat to one person may be poison to another…

    …and for the record, I’m a Christian of some 28 years and attend the Salvation Army.

  10. Belle says:

    I never finished the first book because I couldn’t wrap my head around all the complexities of trying to love and be loved.
    I think trying to be politically correct and giving others the freedom to express themselves in seriously wrong ways have corrupted us.
    I understand that many people who were abused never really got closure about their degradation and thus act out the same way that their abusers did
    but glorifying it (“it” being the debasement of another person in the name of “love”) in these books is just wrong.

  11. You lost me and yourself at “Lundy Bancroft”. He is a “Christian Grey”. A cult founder, a 2 Timothy 3 “depraved minded deceiver”.

    Lundy Bancroft and his cult are into:

    1) The human being is an animal. We are no more different from other animals than they are from each other. We are not a race apart. All the creatures of the earth are our sisters and brothers.

    15) We believe in the beauty, sanctity, and purity of body-based sensory pleasure, whether it be the feeling of the wind on our skin, the smell of an aromatic meal, the pleasure of a massage, the squish of mud between toes, the ecstatic sounds of music, the songs of birds, the warmth of the sun on our backs, the pleasures of lovemaking, dipping into cold water, sitting under a waterfall, rolling down a hill…
    16) Moreover, if we lived reveling in these pleasures, there would be no need or desire to pollute and choke the earth, no need to accumulate objects, no need to enslave people and animals.

    Who ever you are KRISTYN KOMARNICKI, by referencing Lundy Bancroft, you are “greyer” than you thought you were. Godly people are supposed to be “Salt and Light”, not yoked with Lundy Bancroft.

    Mark 9: 50 “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”

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